Is infidelity just about the sex?

Does anyone else watch House of Cards? For a politically based show, it can be a little racy… and most of the sex happens outside of the character’s committed relationships. I confess, I find the show quite intriguing – I guess it’s always interesting to see how the other half live. I’m more of your average Joe (or Jane) type of gal, a world away from the power-broking deals of Washington DC, where the show is set.

The particular episode I watched this evening had even more infidelity than usual – not one, not two, but three different characters cheated on their respective partners. The motivation for each individual infidelity varied, and it got me thinking about the nature of infidelity itself.

Why do people cheat?

Can it ever really be as simple as: man sees boobs, woman offers sex and all rational thought disappears until the blood recirculates to the male brain? Does that actually happen in real life?

The thing is, it’s not just men that cheat – women do too.

There are a plethora of articles online explaining why people cheat, ranging from low self-esteem to a lack of sizzle at home, from the thrill of doing something naughty to an inherent desire to leave their relationship. But are these just excuses? Are these just the modern human need to justify and analyse what is a basic carnal need?

Sexual desire is a biological function to promote the continuation of the species. When you enter into a committed relationship, you are not automatically blinded to attractive members of the opposite sex. So does this mean, given the right set of circumstances, anyone could cheat? That’s a rather scary thought and one I tend to disagree with.

See, I don’t think infidelity is just about the sex. I think the true infidelity isn’t the physical act itself which could in fact be over in a matter of minutes (or seconds if you’ve picked the wrong fella) but the intimacy of sharing the act which you have promised to share with one person only.

We, as humans, are stronger than our basic animal desires. Unless alcohol or other mind altering substances that take away our ability to reason are involved, the decision to cheat is just that – a decision. In which case, no matter the reason, the infidelity isn’t just for the sex.

But maybe I’m a little naïve. What do you think?

Till next time
XX Amanda

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