Yes, I’m going there. And I’m sorry in advance, but I have to have a bit of a rant because the universe seems to be beating me over the head at the moment with a concept that just doesn’t sit right.
Apparently, apparently¸ life ends after marriage. Or, more specifically, a couple’s sex life ends once they have children and settle into the routine of raising them.
Really?
Truly?!
Noooo!!! Say it isn’t so!
But it must be true. The movie makers say it’s so. And the authors agree. Nobody has time for sex once they have kids. That’s why sexy internet chat rooms have become so popular and the divorce rate is so high.
There’s even scientific evidence to support pop culture’s theories. A quick Google search shows many psychological studies and surveys that point to the same conclusion. Parents with young children have less sex than before they had children. And even worse, parents of teenagers have even less sex.
Aaarggh! We’re all doomed. Turns out you don’t need condoms once you have kids, they are contraception enough.
But hang on, that can’t quite be right. Otherwise, how do people have more than one kid? Is everyone having immaculate conceptions? Or maybe they are so supremely fertile once they’ve popped one out that just a hint of sperm once a year is enough to fertilise an egg?
Or maybe, just maybe, pop culture is wrong.
Maybe even some of these scientists are wrong.
See, there’s a myth I’ve heard lately. A rumour circulating amongst some marrieds that flies in the face of this prevailing pop culture belief.
I’ve actually heard it said that life after children is better.
No! It can’t be true, you say.
But they do.
Oh, they must be talking about the experience of parenthood.
But they’re not.
There’s no doubting that the experience of parenthood expands your life exponentially, but these rumours I hear aren’t about that. These rumours I hear are about sex. Specifically, that sex can get better after kids.
Shock! Gasp!
Seriously.
Seriously?
Children = better sex.
But think about it. Relationships often deepen when two people share the experience of parenthood (and I’m not talking solely about biological parenthood – the same concept applies to step-parenthood). A natural part of that deepening relationship is going to be expressed during sex. And although you can’t have sex anytime you want anymore, because, well, there are kids around; that can actually add to the experience.
Pretend for a moment that you are on a diet. Say you have restricted your chocolate intake to one treat at night time. How much do you look forward to that treat? How much do you think about it during the day? And just how good is it once you finally sink your teeth into all that sugary confection?
That is what sex after kids is like.
If it’s not… well, maybe you’re not doing it right.
XX Amanda
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Amanda Canham writes romance and speculative fiction. You can find out more about her light, heart-warming medical romance series here.
So it will probably come as no surprise that I’ve been a long-time fan of medical drama/comedy series. After all, I currently write my very own medical romances, with a wicked combination of emotional drama, laugh out loud moments, super sweet couples and sizzling sexual tension.
I have to get my inspiration from somewhere, and one of the most fruitful sources, I find, are the shows I enjoy. I watch, am touched and want to touch in return. It’s a wonderful creative cycle, and I wanted to share some of my all-time favourite couples with you.
Fair warning: I ❤ Grey’s Anatomy & there are just so many couples in that show to pick from that they’ve dominated this list. Feel free to add your faves in the comments below. I’d love to know who’s touched your memory banks.
Not the most conventional of love stories, but man, I just wanted these two to finally make it work!
He was the epitome of the brooding hero, but her life wasn’t the easiest either and the tension between them was incredible.
Funny, real, stable, long-suffering – these guys were half the show and it was great to watch them grow from their first date through to marriage and children.
OMG! I ❤ these two! The chemistry between them is awesome and they are two of the nicest, coolest characters you’ll ever meet. They’ve been through a lot, so I really hope they work it out (and please, no spoilers as I haven’t seen season 11 yet).
Okay, so this is a relatively new relationship, but Alex has been one of my long-time favourite characters. He had a tough life as a kid, and his love life hasn’t been much better throughout the show. Jo is the first love interest to get him, to understand where he comes from and it’s great to see things finally working out for him.
It was the shortest of loves, but there aren’t many that are more powerful or emotionally compelling. I dare you to watch this clip and not cry.
When I checked the seasons these two were together, I couldn’t believe it was only two years. This couple enamoured an entire nation (Australia) in a very short time with their love and their engaging personalities. It was a modern love story that ended in a tragedy that sent the entire country into mourning. RIP Patrick.
I can only hope only hope that my characters touch people’s hearts as much as these characters touched mine. Click here if you want to find out more about Cam & Stacey and Kelli & Travis.
XX
Amanda
So it will probably come as no surprise that I’ve been a long-time fan of medical drama/comedy series. After all, I currently write my very own medical romances, with a wicked combination of emotional drama, laugh out loud moments, super sweet couples and sizzling sexual tension.
I have to get my inspiration from somewhere, and one of the most fruitful sources, I find, are the shows I enjoy. I watch, am touched and want to touch in return. It’s a wonderful creative cycle, and I wanted to share some of my all-time favourite couples with you.
Fair warning: I ❤ Grey’s Anatomy & there are just so many couples in that show to pick from that they’ve dominated this list. Feel free to add your faves in the comments below. I’d love to know who’s touched your memory banks.
Not the most conventional of love stories, but man, I just wanted these two to finally make it work!
He was the epitome of the brooding hero, but her life wasn’t the easiest either and the tension between them was incredible.
Funny, real, stable, long-suffering – these guys were half the show and it was great to watch them grow from their first date through to marriage and children.
OMG! I ❤ these two! The chemistry between them is awesome and they are two of the nicest, coolest characters you’ll ever meet. They’ve been through a lot, so I really hope they work it out (and please, no spoilers as I haven’t seen season 11 yet).
Okay, so this is a relatively new relationship, but Alex has been one of my long-time favourite characters. He had a tough life as a kid, and his love life hasn’t been much better throughout the show. Jo is the first love interest to get him, to understand where he comes from and it’s great to see things finally working out for him.
It was the shortest of loves, but there aren’t many that are more powerful or emotionally compelling. I dare you to watch this clip and not cry.
When I checked the seasons these two were together, I couldn’t believe it was only two years. This couple enamoured an entire nation (Australia) in a very short time with their love and their engaging personalities. It was a modern love story that ended in a tragedy that sent the entire country into mourning. RIP Patrick.
I can only hope only hope that my characters touch people’s hearts as much as these characters touched mine.
XX
Amanda
Amanda Canham 